I am a film buff. If I like a movie I will watch it several times and sometimes even memorize some of the dialog. I have several favorites but "Saving Private Ryan" is a very special film to me. It is critically acclaimed for it's cinematography and it is an incredible story. The scene that makes this film so meaningful to me may be a bit of a surprise.
The setting is Europe just days after the invasion at Normandy. Capt. John Miller and seven men search for Private James Patrick Ryan to tell him that his brothers have died in combat and that he, as the last remaining male in his family is to return home. This is well before the days of digital communications, GPS, etc. and the entire region was shrouded in the fog of war. This was no easy task. After weeks of walking across western Europe, Capt. Miller finds Private Ryan but loses nearly all of his men and his own life in the process. The scene which changed me is the last scene of the movie.
Private Ryan, decades from the events of Normandy, returns to Arlington National Cemetary to pay his respects to the man who gave the ultimate sacrifice while tracking him down to send him home. His wife and family are with him but seem to be puzzled by Ryan's nervousness. As he stands in front of the headstone of Capt. Miller he turns to his wife and asks "Tell me I have been a good man?" His wife starts to answer and looks at the headstone. She realizes her husband was there to settle accounts...to pay a debt.
I know it is just a movie but that scene changed the way I viewed the phrase "a good man". The men I know that are good men have many things in common. If you tell them they are "a good man" they will deny it, some of them even bristle a bit. They will tell you they are not perfect and perhaps even share some of their flaws. Yet even their flaws make them good men. They know grace and mercy because they recognize they have been shown grace and mercy. They have a standard of conduct they hold themselves to and if they were to honestly describe it to you, it would be apparent to both of you that it is unattainable. Yet that standard is what drives them and makes them who they are. Some of them are large, mountains of men and others so average in appearance that you might walk right past them and pay no mind yet they all would place themselves in physical, political or financial harms way to help someone in need. Without hesitation.
Many people say these men are much too trusting and easy to take advantage of. But to trust someone is to trust them completely; it is the only way they know how to trust. It's as if no matter who they meet, they only see the good in that person. They love the same way they trust, completely. Done in half-measures it may be something else but it is not love.
