The End! (ehhh, not so much...)

I haven't talked about Doogie much lately because there hasn't been much to say.  One time, Doogie said he was going to talk to T and make sure she was actually putting the chemo in the bag because I wasn't really showing the effects the way most do.  I was very scared of the third and final chemo because my strength was way down and the radiation was kicking my butt.  Doogie said that most of his patients had said the second chemo was the worst and I was already weeks past that one.  Well, you're not done till you've done all three. Let's do it.

It ended up taking five sticks because my veins were trashed.  Finally got a good stick in the top of my right hand.  This one took the normal four hours and there was a party atmosphere in the room.  A very sick man spent an hour or so in the suite and we tried our best to be respectful.  When he left, we had the place to ourselves and got a little rowdy.  T and the crew made the last one very special.

The next day was Thursday and my weekly meeting with Dr. K.  I guess I felt bad enough to get ornery and I had Robin with me, of course, so we were going to let her know how we felt about several things.  Fortunately for all concerned, she was on vacation and had another doctor see her patients.  I don't remember the docs name and I feel horrible about that because he gave me more information in our 30 minutes or so together than I had gotten from Dr. K in total!  Looking back, it was not entirely her fault.  I had gotten pissed off early on and was probably not a very good listener anyway.  For the sake of the blog, I will call this guy OJD (Old Jewish Doctor).

OJD walked into the patient room and introduced himself.  He explained that Dr. K was on vacation and he was seeing everyone this week.  He also said he doesn't rely on patient files so like it or not I was going to get a thorough once-over.  I didn't mind at all.  We talked about my weight.  We talked about the skin on my neck which had two pretty bad looking, oozy spots at the points of my collar bone.  He gloved-up and felt where the tumor used to be (not fun).  He asked how many treatments I had left.  I smiled and said tomorrow is my last one.  He didn't smile but asked if I was ready.

"Hell yes, I'm ready and glad this is over."

He kind of looked over the top of his glasses like you would expect an OJD to do.  "That's not what I'm talking about.  Are you ready for the next two weeks?"  He could tell by the look on my face that I had not a clue what he was talking about.  He explained:

Remember how you didn't feel any effects of the radiation for the first few weeks?  Not only are the physical effects of the radiation delayed but they are also cumulative.  They build up over time.  Your last 10 treatments will have been a "boost" dose specifically targeted at the tumor site.  Tomorrow may be your last treatment but you will not physically feel the full effect of the 40 treatments until approximately 10 days after the last treatment.  You know how microwave dinners tell you to leave them covered for several minutes after removing them from the oven because they are still cooking.  We've been cooking you for 40 days.  The next 10 days will not be pleasant.

You mean pleasant like today?

It wasn't bravery or toughness but it didn't phase me a bit.  Seriously, at this point I was very committed.  Let's do the whole thing and let's do it right so I don't have to do any of it again!  That's not to say that I knew there was more or was OK with it.  A little part of me felt defeated because tomorrow was the day circled on my calendar when I was DONE.  To find out there was more to it didn't surprise me much.  By the way, the words of OJD above may look harsh but they weren't delivered harshly at all.  He just wanted me to know what I was up against and I appreciated it greatly.