Looking around.....

"When it hits the fan, and it will hit the fan, look around.  There will be people that you thought would still be there with you that are nowhere to be found.  There will also be people right beside you that you never would have thought would be."

When my boys read that I guarantee you they will roll their eyes.  They heard it dozens of times, usually when they were hanging out with someone I might not have completely approved of and calling them a "friend".  Well, cancer is probably the definition of "hitting the fan" and I didn't have to look very long to see that I was completely surrounded by friends willing to do anything  I could ask.  I received cards, emails and phone calls.  One friend sent me a card almost every week and she did it while her sister fought for her life with leukemia.  There were family members that exceeded what I could have ever hoped or asked for.  Driving me to treatment later on when I was unable to do so myself.  Giving Robin a break when she desperately needed it.  They were there for a lot of stuff that was no fun for anyone and I would not have blamed them at all had they chosen not to be.

I kept the cards and letters in a large box and read them every day and was encouraged by them.  As days passed the box got more and more full.  Halfway through treatment Robin bought a bigger box.  At the same time, I was meeting more and more people at the clinic and as I have said before, they were all sicker than me.  One lady in particular changed the way I looked at those letters and emails.  She was in the radiation waiting room and was wearing a bandana and we all know what that means, she had the same haircut as me.  She had recently changed her radiation treatment time and would be waiting with me for the remainder of her treatment.  My voice sucked at the time so when I introduced myself I had to sit very close to her.  We shared where we were in treatment and how we were feeling.  Then she spoke about her family who lived in Southlake (an affluent city approximately 10 miles away).  I asked if they were in the lobby.  No, they were very busy and couldn't take her to her treatments.

Are you *%*&@^!^& kidding me?

Here I was with family members arguing about who gets to take me to treatment and this wonderful woman is driving herself and basically fighting alone.  Next time I went through my box I felt a little subconscious about not only the volume of well wishes and prayers but the things that were said in the cards and letters.  Who the hell am I?  What makes me so special?  How could I get all the people sending me stuff to send her some cards and well wishes?  Problem is, it's not just her.  There are so many....

What makes me so special? I'm not. But my friends and family are.